Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Lacey

When Lacey was 17 years old she had a big crush on a family friend she had known for about 5 years. His name was Anthony. He had a little girl who was about 2 years old from his ex-girlfriend (or so Lacey thought.) The two began flirting and spending a lot of time together. They knew they liked each other and she always questioned him about the relationship between him and his daughter's mom. He always swore they were not together and she believed him. This was due to the fact that all his family knew he was at her house quite often and they clearly didn't have a problem with it. He and his baby's mom did not live together, and he talked about her like he hated her. Lacey notes that he was a very good dad to his daughter. He always had her with him and talked about her constantly. Lacey was in love with this about him. She remembers him coming over one day while she was watching A Baby Story on TLC. Lacey told Anthony he could change the channel. He said he wanted to watch the show with her. He then made a comment about them having a child together and it melted Lacey's heart. She thought he must really like/love her for him to say something like that.

They began having a sexual relationship after that. This continued on for about 6 months and then Lacey asked Anthony if he thought she should get on birth control. He responded: “No, way we would be having way too much sex if you did.” So, she didn't. About a month after this conversation Anthony was at her house and the two had intercourse. Lacey says that the next morning she went to the restroom and found a broken condom on the toilet paper when she wiped. She says she didn't think much of it, sometimes they used condoms and sometimes they didn't. She definitely never thought that she would get pregnant. Lacey continued on with her life and  about 8 weeks later she noticed a very small drop of blood. But she still didn't start her period. After 3 days she decided to take a pregnancy test. It came back positive.

Lacey called her older sister and told her. Her sister took Lacey to the doctor to confirm. The doctor confirmed she was about 10 weeks pregnant. Lacey was excited about having Anthony's baby and being a family together but she was terrified to tell her mom. She and her sister met up with their mom that day and told her the news. Of course her heart was broken. Her teenage daughter with no car, no job, who had dropped out of high school when she was 16 now had a baby to look after. Her mother told her she needed to call Anthony and figure out what they were going to do. Lacey called him and asked if he could come over. He said he couldn’t but asked what she needed. She told him she was pregnant. Instantly his whole tone changed. He began asking her to have an abortion saying later down the road they could have a few kids but now was not the right time. Lacey refused. She even told him he didn't have to support this baby financially as long as he was part of it’s life, he could just go to the doctor with her and be a dad. He said that doing those things for her baby would take away from his daughter. Then he finally admitted that he and his daughter's mom were in a relationship.

Lacey and Anthony talked long into the night. She tried contacting him a few times after that but slowly and surely he stopped all communication. Lacey thanks God for her parents and family members who were with her 110% throughout her hard pregnancy. Lacey was in and out of the hospital with high blood pressure and the baby never moved. Finally on May 27th, 2004 at 3:59pm her baby boy, Nathan Blaze, was born 7 pounds 7 ounces. As soon as he was born he was rushed away to the NICU with respiratory distress. But after 3 days he came home with Lacey. Her family pressured her a lot to contact Anthony and file child support but she couldn’t do it.


Lacey was able to move on with her life because she was so in love with her son. Anthony never tried to contact her in any way to learn anything about his son. Her parents were great but she was still 18 years old with no car and lived at home with her parents. Finally when she was 19 she met a man named Jaime who was amazing. He was kind, sweet, and older. He had a car and a really good job. Lacey fell head over heels for him. Two months later she was pregnant. This was her second pregnancy as a teenager and this time with a man she barely knew. She had never been as scared in her life as she was to tell her mom she was pregnant for the second time. But she did. Her mom was enraged and didn’t talk to her for over a week. When her mom finally spoke with her they decided Lacey would move in with Jaime.

It was wonderful for awhile but after a few weeks she discovered Jaime was controlling. One day when Lacey was 8 weeks pregnant he threw all of Lacey's and Nathan's belongings outside. So Lacey went to her mom’s house and asked her if she could come back. She wanted to tell her mom she wanted an abortion but she was scared of what her mother and her grandparents would think since they were very religious and thus against abortion. Lacey stayed at her mom's house and kept quiet. She had no contact with Jaime for 3 days. Then he came over and apologized. Lacey went back home with him just for the sake of not having to live with her Mom and Dad.

Lacey and Jaime’s relationship was very difficult. They fought a lot because they were just learning how to be together and getting to know each other and they had the added stress of an instant family. Lacey went into labor September 2nd, 2006 at 11:35pm. Her baby boy Isaiah Richard was born 7 pounds 2 ounces. Lacey and Jaime continued to get along and try their hardest for their son but there was infidelity. She found out Jaime cheated on her. This led to a huge falling out. Lacey went home to her parent's house once again. This time she stayed for about four months. Lacey had to support her kids so she got a job at a local apartment community. She made decent money but she also had to pay her mom to watch her kids during the day. She was starting to move on and become okay with her life. She had not heard from Jaime in about a week when he finally stopped by. She gave him the third degree and he admitted he had a girlfriend. Lacey immediately stopped contacting him and letting him see Isiah.

Finally after 3 years she filed for child support against her oldest son’s dad, Anthony. She felt guilty because none of his family ever found out they had a baby together. But once they had the meeting about child support, he said he wanted to be a part of Nathan’s life. Anthony came around and introduced himself twice and then they never saw him again. Lacey filed child support against Jaime as well. About a month after Lacey filed against him, Jaime showed up at her mom's house when Lacey was not there. He said he wanted to see his son but her mom told him no and to get lost. Lacey agreed to meet with him. He begged, even cried for her to come back to him. Of course as a single mom to two kids, she didn’t want to be alone so she went back.

They struggled with their relationship and continued to try and do their best for their kids. On December 7th, 2007 Jaime was arrested by Immigration (he was not a legal resident). Lacey's world came crashing down. Once again she moved in with her parents. She lost everything, her house, her furniture, and her boyfriend. She finally realized how much this man meant to her and how much she loved him. After years of struggling and fighting she regretted all the bad times they had and the bad things she said to him. She realized it was time wasted. She contacted a lawyer and tried to hire him but it was too expensive. She knew she had to let Jaime go back to Mexico. She would never be able to see him again, it was over.

Then Jaime's uncle contacted Lacey, a man she had never spoken to before. He gave her the money to hire a lawyer and get Jaime home. After two months, he was released by immigration on a $5,000 immigration bond. After he got out, the two got married and settled into a life together. They welcomed a baby girl, Jessica Maureen, in August 2009. Lacey knows that she and Jaime had a lot of problems but she says that he helped her more than anyone ever has. While she has been with him she has gotten her drivers license and pursued a real estate career. Nine years after Lacey became a teen mom she is proud to say that she is madly in love and has a perfect little family. Lacey's words of advice are as follows: "Being a teen mom was the hardest thing I ever had to do. If I could go back and do it over I would have waited and not fallen for every man who looked my way and said something sweet to me."
Lacey and husband Jaime
Nathan, Isaiah, and Jessica

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